"Update blog" has been on my to-do list for almost two weeks now. Praise the Lord that I kept putting it off until now. The reason I say "praise the Lord", is because had I written a post last week, you all would have seen a very different side of Alyssa. Last week, especially the beginning of the week, was the hardest couple of days I have ever experienced in my life. The devil was eating me alive with negative and depressing thoughts. I was so overwhelmed with starting school again in a position I had very little knowledge about that I considered quitting multiple times. I was absolutely terrified of the unknown and felt very alone trying to figure out what I needed to do as the ESL teacher.
Relentless prayer and a precious little girl helped get me out of that pit of depression.
I was at Dirt Cheap when I noticed a little Hispanic girl with her mom. I had met several of the families I would be working with back in May but did not remember specific faces or names. As soon as this little girl saw me, her face lit up and she turned to her mom and said in Spanish, "Mom! She is going to be my teacher!" The Lord used the simple words of this little to bring peace, hope, and confidence that I am exactly where God wants me. I am clinging to the promise that, as Mark Batterson puts it, the Lord does not call the qualified, he qualifies the called.
"...may He equip you with all you need for doing His will..."
Hebrews 13:21 (NLT)
I am currently doing the 40 Day Prayer Challenge that accompanies the book, The Circle Maker by Mark Batterson and every day the Lord reveals more to me about His love, mercy, and perfect plan. He is teaching me so much about prayer and that He always answers prayer, just not always the way or on the timeline we want him to. It is so hard to accept the fact that sometimes God's answer is "no" or "not yet". But trusting the Almighty means knowing that His plan is far greater than anything I can even imagine!
The Holy Spirit filled me with such peace, diligence, and guidance at the end of last week and throughout this first week of school. There are still a lot of things I am unsure about about teaching ESL and there is a lot that still kind of scares me but I am not going to allow those feelings to determine my attitude or my joy in Christ.
Once school gets into more of a routine and things settle down some, I will definitely update you all on what life is like for me as an ESL teacher. Please pray for continued guidance, confidence and joy in Christ, and glory only to the Father!
