It has been almost a month since my last post and I have been putting it off and putting it off because I have so much to do school wise. But today, something happened that I could not let pass without sharing with you all.
As I said, I have been so busy and incredibly overwhelmed with the amount of work that teaching at Hazlehurst requires. I am constantly being bombarded by something else to do and honestly I see no gain in most of the things people keep piling up for me to do. I hear myself saying to myself and other teachers, why don't they just let us teach! Or wouldn't they at least give us a heads up about things instead of just giving it to us and telling us it has to be done by tomorrow. Well, today was one of those days. I checked my email to find an email from our team leader about our lesson plans and basically how we needed to be teaching this instead of what our plans said. I was furious. Because not only does that throw off EVERYTHING that I was planning to do this week but there was no guidance or resources provided to do what she wanted us to do. I was going to make some copies but got so frustrated because I didn't even know what to copy for the week that I just left. And I was so tempted to get in my car and drive to Georgia. I was hit again with the doubt that me being in Hazlehurst, MS was actually accomplishing any good.
I then actually did come home to get away from school, make some dinner and try to sort through things before going back to school. I was starting to calm down a little bit by the time I got home and then I get a text message from one of my student's parents saying that her child would not be at school tomorrow because their house had burned down last night and they had lost everything. I immediately called her and she explained that she would go buy a uniform for her so she could come to school on Tuesday. I talked to her for a little while and then hung up the phone and absolutely lost it. I was sitting in my kitchen just weeping. I was weeping for this girl's family but more so I was weeping over my own selfishness.
How ridiculous that I was so concerned with myself and the things that I was having to do when a little girl in my class no longer has a house or any of her belongings?!?! I sought forgiveness, restoration, peace, and purpose that I had lost. I am not here for myself. I have been put here for the sole reason of bringing glory to the name of the ONE who can restore our broken and empty souls. Yes, it is hard. He never said it wouldn't be hard but it is NOT about me and He promises to be there the whole way. Thank you Lord for opening my eyes to my own selfishness. Please pray for my student and her family.
Matthew 5:16
In the same way, let your light shine before others,that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.
